Definately see ya later, Dad

After what seems like the most painful week next to Dad, in bad pain at times, and getting worse so gradually, he finally entered into heaven on Sunday morning. He is healed in the most ultimate way now.

At 5.30 we gathered round his bed and had an amazing prayer time.  Not praying for his soul (cos we were sure of where that had gone) but thanking God for his life and praying for God to be in our situation. As I looked at my Daddy without breath it really hit home in a sad but hopeful way that the real him wasnt there anymore - just his body.

I had spent quite a few days in that nursing home desperately wondering what God was up to, in terms of the timing, but the more we think about it now we realise it was His perfect timing.  The day before, my sister and mum saw a sunset and key visitors arrived  - a close friend and his Father (95yrs) and brother. That evening we watched last night of the Proms and I sang along to most of the tunes. When it came to 'You will never walk alone' both my sister and I sang it to our Dad together (to us it is not so symbolic of football as with everyone else) and he opened his eyes for a few seconds for the final time - wow emotional!

Also, we reached the point (of instead of just thinking it) we were actually saying out loud: "Its ok you can go to heaven now, you can go with Jesus and you can trust us to Him too, we love you, goodbye."

At one stage I was concerned about how we may need to read the Bible and remind Dad about Jesus' truth so he doesn't forget.  My incredible and wise sister just said: "we don't need to remind him. Jesus is written right across his heart." Of course - If we hadnt talked about Jesus all week it wouldnt have changed a thing.

I feel like the word we would choose for this situation is not 'relieved' but 'released'. Throughout his illness Dad had spontaneously burst into a rendition of 'Rejoice in the Lord always' or 'Praise God from whom all blessings flow' - now he is singing worship forever more, he is loving it and how cool.

You know in those ghost films when the person raises up and looks down on their family crying over their body? - it entered into my head, at the time, that maybe Dad could see us doing that.  Then those thoughts were quashed with a reassuring discussion about how he would be so overwhelmed with seeing Jesus face to face that why on earth would he look back at us or this broken world when he has moved to God's house!

Heaven must be indescribable. We have also been talking about (which kind of twists your mind a little) the thought that God and heaven are outside earthly time. Therefore I believe that Dad wont be waiting up there for years going, "heaven is fun and all that but when are my family going to get here?" We reckon it would feel like we are arriving together.

So we are very sad yes and life will never be the same again but we will choose to be thankful, keep singing (even if through gritted teeth) and know that His will is perfect.



So it isnt goodbye forever, it is definately 'see ya later'.