A crackly 1980s recording of my favourite voice in the world,
accompanied by his guitar, sings: “We shall rise, we shall rise….on that
resurrection morning, we shall rise. Death has lost its sting for us, death has
lost its sting for us, death has lost its sting forevermore” Such appropriate
truth. This was a recording of my dad, played
at his own dad’s funeral a few months ago.
I should have thought better than to arrive at the Norfolk hospital
alone back in October. The thought that I might need backup entered my head at
one point but I convinced myself that I was now so familiar with hospitals that
it would not be a problem. I’m not
shocked by anything anymore am I?!
Well. I didn’t expect my Granddad, (my Dad’s dad as
mentioned in previous posts) at the grand age of 96, to be in fine nick but he
was dramatically altered and struggled to communicate.
Perching on the side of his bed and holding his frail hand,
I desperately tried to let him know that he didn’t need to fear or panic. As
well as the family similarities in their look, the looks and the gasps of
momentary confusion and panic were such a painful reminder of later days with
my Dad.
I pressed on through and we talked about each member of the
family and how they were doing and all he could keep saying was ‘I’m so lucky
to have such a lovely family’.
Apart from the question of whether I had enough money or had
yet found a boyfriend, which made me smile because he’d never normally asked
such things, I assured him we were all grateful to him for providing us with
such a rich spiritual legacy.
I had been in that same ward and situation 2 years ago, and he
had bounced back so many times, but this time felt different. I just knew this was the last time I would
visit him. I almost didn’t want to say bye. When he said “I’ll leave you to go
to sleep now” I knew there wasn’t much point dragging it out any longer.
Praying out loud that Jesus would be very present in perfect
peace and that he would be assured of his saviour, he heard, nodded and gave a big
thumbs up. Aware that the tears were
streaming down my face and surrounding visitors were pretending not to look or
to overhear religious words, I didn’t mind.
So why am I sharing this? Don’t we all have stories of
family members dying? And yes he was of age.
But it was Gogglebox (C4 Friday nights) the other day when they
spoke about being afraid of death that made me think back on these events. Then there was good old Dot Branning on
Eastenders yesterday wondering whether her son Nick had ever accepted Jesus and
if she could have done more to help him understand the gospel. It was actually
a very moving and realistic prayer.
Have my Dad and
Granddad been defeated by death? I don't believe so at all. Not when Jesus is involved.
Those song words reveal to me an amazing truth on a deep
level. How can someone claim that death has no power over them even though it
is as inevitable, devastating as it is? For someone who puts their trust in Jesus, life
forever with God is on offer. How do you
feel about that?
